Wednesday, January 4, 2012

LA Stories- The Creeper, Part 2: And The Darkness

After all the drama with Uche, I had plenty of sympathy for Andrew- he had been played for a fool and now we were all paying the price. I tried to give him some extra care and show him some love by inviting him out when I'd be with friends, and he began tagging along frequently- even guilt tripping me when I didn't include him in my plans.

He had no car, so since I was working nights, I'd let him drive my car to run errands or do whatever it was he did- he definitley wasn't an audio engineer like he'd told me, and he wasn't in real estate, like he'd told Taz. In fact, to this day, I'm still not quite sure what his job was- but it always provided him plenty of money for weed. (Another thing he'd lied about when I first moved in.) When he wound up blowing my car's speaker, I decided not to say anything. Poor guy was going through a breakup, he probably just wanted to rock out and cranked the volume up a little too loud. No big deal.

Taz and I even went to go support Andrew on the night of a big stand-up comic competition. This was the one job we were both fairly certain he hadn't lied about, but when it was his turn to go on and he started to choke, we got worried. Hadn't he been telling us all along that he was a comic? He delivered his opening line, got lost, tried to read his notes, then spontaneously gave up. We were stunned- we wanted to support our roommate, but we weren't really sure who he was any more...

Andrew and I had jokingly said that "as soon as Paul left for the cruise ship job, we'd make some caramel babies." I'd started the joking, so I'm to blame for that, but after Paul left, Andrew ratcheted it up to flirting pretty hardcore and I became uneasy about it. Also, I caught him in a bizarre lie- he told me and Taz that he'd hurt his ankle stepping down off a curb, but then I overheard him on the phone telling a friend about how he'd gotten into a fight on Halloween night, then come home to find the same guy he fought with lives on our block. I was sad that he'd lied to us, but I didn't say anything to Taz at that point. Point is, I started getting serious weird vibes from someone I trusted.

Over the next few days, Andrew became almost possessive and jealous if I went out, and would question who I was going out with or when or if I'd be back. For a while, I felt sorry for him and continued inviting him along to group activities, but then this happened:

Andrew was stretched out on the couch (our only furniture) when I came down to wait for my friend Mark. I sat down on the floor with my back to the couch, and Andrew said "come sit on the couch." I told him I was fine, but he insisted, so he slid down and I sat down, then he slid back up and put his head on my lap... okayyyy... I pet his hair and was talking about baby sheep when he asked how long it would be until Mark got there. "5 Minutes," I said. "Perfect," he says. "Just enough time for a blowjob."
Then he takes my hand, and even though I'm pulling away from him, puts it on his crotch. Like, wow.
Gross.
I said "Wow, no, that's really not going to happen," and at that exact moment Mark showed up thank god and we went to go get wings.

Over a dozen hotwings, I told my friends how weird Andrew had acted, and how I'd sensed that he'd been watching me sleep.
They told me to be careful, so that night I asked Mark to stay over and sleep between me and the door.
The way my room was laid out, the door was right next to the bed, so Mark would act as a buffer between me and any creepiness.
I had to keep my door open just a crack for my cats to come in and out, but it would take a solid effort to physically SEE into my bedroom from the hallway.
The next morning, Andrew definitely was looking in my room because I heard him (at 6AM) pause by the crack in my door and comment "Hm! One head, two heads!)
The door was only open just a sliver- not even enough for a cat- but enough for a Creeper, apparently.

I decided to tell Tazzie, and she told me that Andrew had told her that he was falling in love with me, but that probably it was just a reaction to me leaving. She also told me that he'd confessed to her about the Hollywood fight, but told her it had started because some guy on the train had accused him of being gay. Go figure.
She and I began noticing different inconsistencies with things he'd told us, and the more we spoke, the more uncomfortable we both got. She also told me that he'd told her his brother was in jail for life because his brother had murdered 5 people. Andrew told me he didn't talk much with his brother because of an age difference. Hrm.

A few days later, my friend Aaron and I were watching TV when Andrew came in and scooted Aaron over to sit next to me. Between us. He then pressed his body against mine and made some weird groaning noise, ao Aaron and I made an excuse to go upstairs.
"So, you ready to watch this?" I said, holding up a random DVD.
"Let's do it," says Aaron, catching on.
"Where are you going?" Andrew asks.
"Upstairs," I say.
"What are you gonna do," Andrew asks.
Ummm. Yeah. Tazzie came home a few minutes later, and after she, Aaron and I corroborated stories, we all became seriously creeped out.
"You guys wanna get out of here for a while?" Aaron asks.
Yes, yes we did. So we wound up at a Valley party for a model on her 21st birthday. But that is a tale for another time.

The next day, tired from getting my ass kicked at flipcup, I decided to take a nap. Big mistake. I woke up and found Andrew in my room, WITH HIS HEAD ON MY PILLOW, stroking my arm to wake me.
"Honeeeey, wake up," he whispered.
"Dear God what are you doing?!?"
"I just wanted to make sure you didn't oversleep."

After waking up the following morning to him legitimately staring at me through the crack in my door, ("just to see if I was home or not,") I decided that I wouldn't stay another night there by myself. My wonderful LA friends Kyle, Mark, Chelsea, and another HHN pal, David, all either put me up at their place or crashed with me the remaining nights. In a way, it was fun because it created some epic sleepover fun. I have zero regrets about that. There was nail painting and eyeliner application- and that was on a Kyle night!

Aaron gave me some very sweet advice regarding the matter:
"Jaime, do me a favor?"
Anything.
"When you move back,"
"Yeah?"
"Stay the fuck out of North Hollywood."

Tazzie had had enough by this point, and decided to relocate as well. The two of us quicly realized that it was no coincidence that Andrew's prior two roommates had both bolted at the same time.

The day of the big move approached, and on my final night there, James (my brother) spent the night in bed with me- at my insistance.
At 3:30AM, Andrew opened my door- a last, looming black shadow in the darkness.
James awoke feeling Andrew's eyes on him.
For a moment, they just watched each other. Then:
James said "Hi."
Andrew said, "is she asleep?"
James said, "yeah."
Andrew said, "Oh. OK," and went away.
The very next morning, we were out- never again to worry about The Creeper of North Hollywood.
Until he stiffed me out of $100 of my return deposit.

Goddamn you CraigsList LA.

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