Jay and I were visiting our friend Jenn, who lives in Altadena. Altadena is just "alta" of Pasadena, and is very rural and moutainous and gorgeous. Pretty much everyone has land for horses and whatnot. During the day, numerous green parrots flit amongst the tree branches, and offer critiques on the pastoral tranquility below. Perfect breeding ground for The Undead.
Jenn lives in the guesthouse behind her landlord's house. To get to Jenn's cottage-type house, we had to park Jay's car on the gravel just off the country road she lives on, walk down her landlord's loooong driveway, and open a door to their courtyard. From there, we pass by their pool and could hang out with Jenn, which we did for about 10 minutes when we dropped her off one dark and zombie-infested night.
We quietly closed the door to Jenn's cottage, and tiptoed past the pool. As we did so, I could hear rustlings inside the main house. I suspected that the landlady was awake. As we tried to softly open and close the heavy wooden door leading from the courtyard to the driveway, we could hear the sound of the lock on the nearby door to the main house being turned.
Since we were being so quiet and respectful, I assumed that it was just the people inside the main house sensibly locking their doors, since they may have been aware that their renter had guests over.
We were half-way up the driveway when we heard Jay's car alarm make a soft staccato "bleep-bleep" noise, letting us know that it had been disturbed. I opened my mouth to make a comment to Jay when all of a sudden the courtyard door behind me flew open and we were rush-attacked by a Zombie!
It was Jenn's Landlady, in an old-fashioned long white long-sleeved nightgown JUST LIKE ZOMBIES WEAR, and she flew towards us in a rage, crab-leaping and scuttling, arms outstretched and hands in claw-grip form like a Danny Boyle "28 Days Later" Zombie! Omigod!!!
"CAN YOU!! DO!! SOMETHING!!! ABOUT THAT!!!" she screamed, presumably referring to the soft sheep-like bleating of Jay's car alarm.
I managed to stammer out, "uuhhh.. we were just leaving," to which she replied"
"RGHHHHAAAAHHHH!!!!" and crab-walked back inside to finish eating brains or whatever it is she does in her granny nightgown.
My heart was pounding a mile a minute as Jay and I hightailed it back to the car, where we burst out laughing in fear and survivor's hysteria.
We heard the courtyard door slam shut, and 1,000 sleeping parrots awoke and stirred in their branches.
We had just survived our first Zombie Attack in LA.
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